My Memory Lane

How to keep your mind off bad memories that are causing anxiety stress and depression?

Do you ever get over memories of abuse, not childhood but late teen years/adult? And can you do it yourself without help? Will you ever feel ok in a physical relationship without feeling dirty or bad/wrong? Is it always going to make you cringe and your heart beats fast and you feel sick inside, when you see a romantic part in a movie and fast forward it? Will you ever feel like a normal person?

Public Comments

1. You can't keep stuffing them down. They will continue to pop up. Only counselling helps.
2. Give your heart and life to Jesus. 1) repent for your sins 2)ask for forgiveness for your sins 3)believe that Jesus died on the Cross as atonement for your sins and 4) accept Him as your Lord and Saviour.
3. I had things like that and each time I had one I would think "Hey, you get out of hear! I am better than you!" Then I would look around and see how different my life is now and it's better and I started to forget those memories.
4. It's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, or emotions, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts: When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind. After identifying, and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version. Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method. TROUBLED CHILDHOOD - HYPNOSIS Realise that you were just a child at the time, and in no way responsible for the abuse, so you have no need to feel ashamed. View page 1, at Weebly, below, about self esteem. Also view page E. You state: "i forgot about the abuse", but that is because your subconscious mind is blocking the memories of it, so that you can get on with life better. You can recover those memories through hypnosis, and then use EMDR therapy to reduce the emotional charge associated with them. Female rape victims have replied that they found it helpful to talk about it with someone they trusted, and felt comfortable with. One suggestion was to write a letter to the perpetrator, stating how you felt, how it has affected your life, and what you would like to do to them. Then, after re-reading it occasionally until you can't stand to see it anymore, have a ceremony, and burn it safely in a metal container, and flush the ashes down the toilet, symbolically ending the matter. A previous answer follows: Most people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either seek professional hypnotherapy, or hypnosisdownloads has one on overcoming a troubled childhood, and/or asktheinternettherapist.com has one on re-parenting your inner child, and/or instant-hypnosis.com has one on dealing with child abuse. Write down your thoughts, and feelings about how things were good sometimes, and keep a journal of such good memories, and copies of any photos (preferably digitise as well, re-recording every 10 yrs - they DO deteriorate!). Ask others, who were around at the time, and record their more positive memories. If the above proves insufficient, I suggest that you seek psychotherapy, and a course of EMDR therapy, (* http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/q.h... ) would probably reduce the negative emotions associated with your memories of abuse to more acceptable levels - the EMDR to reduce the negative, combined with the other techniques shown may be all you need, enabling you to avoid psychotherapy (open ended; can take years, cost a small fortune, and achieve little, depending on the therapist, and client). Try the relaxation methods at http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-... or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody... or http://www.wikihow.com/meditate... and/or Tai Chi, Qi Gong, or yoga. Also page L at this site*, where there are several to choose from. Some people are still dismissive of them, but scientific testing has demonstrated conclusively that they increase activity in the left prefrontal cortex, when practised.
5. Depression is caused by chemical imbalances of serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine and other important neurotranmitters in the brain which stabilize emotions. Psychologists state that depression is a unhealthy state which we 'can' work through in order to experience greater levels of happiness. Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD along with Psychologists Mark Williams, John Teasdale, and Zindel Segal have authored an 'excellent' self-help book called: "The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness". Mindfulness, a simple yet powerful way of paying attention to your most difficult emotions and life experiences, can help you break the cycle of chronic unhappiness once and for all, that you may experience greater levels of happiness. In 'The Mindful Way through Depression', it is explained why our usual attempts to "think" our way out of a bad mood or "just snap out of it" leads us deeper into the downward spiral of depression. Through very insightful lessons-drawn from both Mindfulness and Cognitive Therapy - Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD and Psychologists- Mark Williams, John Teasdale, and Zindel Segal demonstrate how to sidestep the negative habits that lead to unhappiness and despair, including self-blame and rumination so you can effectively face life's challenges with much resilience. .
6. You need to focus on the now. Do not ignore these feelings. Your body is having a physical response to your feelings and thoughts. That is what needs to stop. You need to be able to seperate your logical thinking and reality. I suffer from anxiety and whenever I get worked up or panic mode I use herbal remedies. This has helped me http://howdoyoustopanxietyattacks.info/
7. Hi well I speak from personal experience. I was abused as a child and told no one. So it was kept all inside. I felt guilty and dirty and separate from other people. It wasn't until I got older and met my partner and i told im what had happened as I was very shy and nervous about being intimate with him. Just talking about it was like lifting a huge weight. The support I received from him made me realize that it was not my fault and that it was something in the past that i could not change and to look forwards only. The future i could control well my future anyway. I really think that talking to someone close or to a counselor. Both of these people will not judge you and they will be able to give you strength and a new way to look on your life. Anxiety feeds on anxiety, the more you fear your problem the worse you will feel. Learning to relax is also really really useful too. A relaxed body and mind cannot panic or feel anxious and the more you practice relaxation techniques the more your body will be able to cope. So if i were you i would find someone to talk to and explore some relaxation skills. It may not be an over night answer but believe me after many years of panic attacks etc i came out the other side and no longer have these feelings. See this web site for some ideas on relaxations skills etc Don't give up there is a light at the end of the tunnel even though you don't feel that way now. best wishes Kate